transgender dating

6 Things You Should Never Say to Transgender Women

If you look at those articles about dating a trans woman, you will realize that they all suggest you should treat her like any other girl. However, when encountering a transgender woman in their day-to-day life, many guys say some highly inappropriate things out of plain ignorance. Therefore, if you are interested in joining a transgender dating scene, read the list below and see which questions are, well, out of the question.


What are you?

Even Frankenstein’s monster would be offended by this one! First, she is not a ‘what’, she is a person with feelings, so don’t be rude. If she wants to share the details of her transition with you, she will do it because she wants it, not because you’ve asked her about it.

Do you hate men?

Just because she identifies as another gender than the sex she was assigned at birth doesn’t mean she hates men. This question is so ridiculous, yet a lot of men still ask it.

Can you have sex?

Unfortunately, this is one of the most asked questions on transgender dating sites. Would you ask a cis woman the same question? No, you wouldn’t, so why do you think it is appropriate to ask a trans woman something like that? Not only is it horribly intrusive, but is also none of your goddamn business, so please keep your mouth shut.

What’s your real name?

Her real name is the one she gave to you and not the one she was given at birth. Trans people often want to erase that part of their life, so don’t remind her of it by asking this question.

Can I see your old pics?

First, why would you want to see those? Second, why does it matter? And third, it is, once again, none of your business. Focus on who she is now and worry less about her past.

Have you had the operation?

Only she and her health care provider have the right to know this. Asking her what’s going on between her legs is such a personal question, we don’t know even know where to start explaining how utterly inappropriate it is.

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